Week TwoLast Week: 2-0-1 (Thanks a lot, D-Jackass)
Season: 2-0-1
I failed to explain ties on parlays. They push, so a three-game parlay card like I do here reverts to a two-game card and the payout is something like 2.6::uno. So since I nailed Seattle and Pittslithberger and tied the Cardinals score the $100 would now be $260. I’m rich, biatch! Not really.
So it is Friday night, cuddling a H.W. Blue Boar and a stroking the Sony Vaio keys with the other hand, hoping I can pump out three winners this week. My virgin picks (no spread) in the Mirror were 12-4 last week but a mosquito went 14-2. But everyone knows picking games straight up is for girls. Step back and witness a real man tear three off right here.
Minnesota @ Detroit -3
I’m not sure who has less listeners, Jock of the Rock or the Detroit Lions radio broadcasts. How old is Jon Boy Kitna now? He may have passed Favre somehow. The ex-Seahawk QB is nine wins away from proving his prediction for their season (not a joke). It seems after all these years Ford Field may have something to cheer about after putting up 30-plus on a formidable Raider defense last week. And I can’t name anyone on the Vikings anymore except for a certain left guard/traitor. I find I’m having trouble finding something offensive and/or perverted to say. What is wrong with me? Its like writers block crossed with E.D. or something. Maybe everything is backwards because I’m taking…..
Nick’s Pick: LIONS
Cincinnati -6.5 @ Cleveland
I could pick against Cleveland every single week. I should pick against Cleveland every single week. I believe last year I took Cincinnati over them in Week One…in July. In fact I will take Cincinnati over Cleveland, regardless of spread, for their first meeting in 2008. And I’m willing to say I’m the only person in Kodiak who can make that claim. The Steamers couldn’t beat Michigan. Why is that guy from 58 Degrees North throwing plastic Miller Lite bottles at my house?
Nick’s Pick: BENGALS
Philadelphia -6.5 @ Washington
Last minute switch, was going to take San Diego +3.5 on Sunday night but bought myself 24 hours and a break from John Madden. Can we get some Howard Cosell DNA and bring him back? Can Jessica Biel do the sideline reporting while we wishing? Did you see her in “Chuck and Larry”? I almost pulled a Paul Reubens in the Orpheum. NO, I DON’T KNOW WHERE MY PANTS ARE, LEAVE ME ALONE RUSTY, I’M ENJOYING THE MOVIE! Something like that.
This also means I’m taking three favorites which is a recipe for disaster. Sadly I can name more players on Minnesota than Washington. No, I lied (That’s what ya do in D.C.). Portis, Cooley, and uh, ummmm. One sec. That one guy. Mmmmmmmwhatzhisname. Springs. And Moss #2. Uh oh, I can name more Redskins than Eagles. But no worries, so long as I can name McNabb.
Nick’s Pick: EAGLES
Odds based on lines from Yahoo Sports
