2004 Final Record 16-17-0
2005 Final Record 24-23-1
2006 Final Record 28-20-1
2005 Final Record 24-23-1
2006 Final Record 28-20-1
Welcome to Nix Pix, back in print after a year on the FM band! While it was fun mind melding with Mike Pfeffer’s dog and having fun with local political types on public radio it is so much easier just writing. I’m all about the lazy. From my humble beginnings at Main Elementary taking kids lunch money with a keen knack for the over/under (I’m making this up) to e-mailing my picks to my more successful friends who foolishly love their wives and children more than the NFL I’ve come a long way. And here we are in 2007 on a blog. OK, it’s a step back from radio. Dog spamit. Not you, Emma.
Anywho, last season was very lucrative as I ended up winning 71% of my games minus the three that pushed. As always I start the season with the “sandinyerface secret” to gambling. This system can make you money even when you lose more than half yer games over the course of a season. Really? Really. It goes like this:
There are 17 weeks in the season and every week I bet three games as a parlay.
Lose any of the three games and you get zip.
Win all three games and depending on where you bet you get between 6-7 times what you put down.
Bet $100, win all three, walk away with about $700.
Win 3 outta 3 three times in seventeen weeks of football that’s $2100.
Of course you lost 14 of 17 weeks so deduct $1400.
But in the end you are up $700 after seventeen weeks (like how I switch betweens words and #s?).
Of course you could win the first week and be at the same point but do the math if you win
4 outta 4 = $2800 minus 13 weeks lost/$1300 = $1500
5 outta 5 = $3500 minus 12 weeks lost/$1200 = $2300
You probably wouldn’t reach 6 outta 6 or higher. Trust me.
So it is possible you could win over two grand and only pick 15 games out of 51 correctly.
The key is patience. Bet the same every week. Always three games. Never more money. Never more games.
Of course I’m broke and never do this with real money and if I had money I’d be too cheap to test my system with real cheese.
Week One
Last Week: Your mama
Season: 0-0
Tampa Bay +6 @ Seattle
Week One is tough because it is in essence the fifth week of preseason. I don’t think you can find one starter on any team that played a full four Qs in the past four weeks. So I’m going with what is familiar and that would be (play Bitter Sweet Symphony) the SEAHAWKS! Seattle is playing a team that will fly across the continental US sideways with a QB that makes Jimmy Eggemeyer look like Shaq. Plus Seattle picked up a narc/player from the Bucs recently. But most importantly I shall be there in my south end zone seat screaming like a divorced 43-year old slut at a Bon Jovi concert. Ha! When I said slut you assumed I meant a woman you sexist pig.
OK, you were right.
Nick’s Pick: SEAHAWKS
Pittsburgh - 4.5 @ Cleveland
Cleveland picked up Jamal Lewis this season in an effort to stop him from having 200-yard games against them. They should have got him two years ago. Like MY Seahawks, the Steelers look like a team that will return to the form the showed when the were given a Super Bowl trophy by a bunch of f-tard zebras in Michigan on cold day in Februay 2006. Yes, still bitter. I’m like the lemon pepper you sprinkle on yer steak. For the record I do not dislike the Steelers or their loyal fans over this, my issue is with the league, blah blah blah. Anywho, all the plastic Coors Light projectiles in Ohio won’t stop Crotchrocket Cruncher and Co. Its going to be the worst things since…since….The Spurs came to town. HA!
Nick’s Pick: STEELERS
MNF: Arizona @ San Francisco -3
It is never a good idea to take three favorites in a week, a mistake I made early last year. So far I’ve taken two so I’m determined to find an underEmma that suits me. Last year everyone, including Regis Philbin, said the Cardinals were the big sleeper and would take the NFC West.
SEA! HAWKS! SEA! HAWKS! SEA! HAWKS!
This year the same types are calling on the 49ers to knock off Seattle at the left coast champs. Why did they go south on PHX? Alex Smith in preseason looked like my rear end after three days in a hotel in Mexico that was hit by a hurricane and lost power and water a few years back. Look for some trick plays from the Cards on prime time and yall owe me a brewski if they hit Boldin on a flea flicker for six. Of course I wish they both lose but the only tie in the house is around Nolan’s neck with his retro-RBK Cisco suit. What a dork!
Nick’s Pick: CARDINALS
Odds based on lines from Yahoo Sports
