College Football Week 5: Upset Nation

Last weekend I gushed about how good Oklahoma looked. This Saturday they go out and lose 27-24 to Mike Wall's Colorado Buffaloes (for the record, I saw Colorado play Oregon once, and running your mascot around the stadium like you're at a rodeo before the game starts has to be the stupidest school tradition EVER). Anyhow, 5 top 10 teams lost in college football this weekend. Dennis Dodd says that means "there are no great teams." I think it proves, once again, that anyone can win anytime, anywhere. Appalachian State beating Michigan to open the season proves that. Heck, Oregon beating Michigan proves that.

Anyway, it's been a pretty bad weekend. The Mets completed a world class collapse (wave bye bye to the playoffs), Oregon tanked it in the fourth quarter versus Cal, and as I write this I have one point in the office football pool. Whoopidy-Do! See you next week.

-CK1

Monday Night Football at Tony's Bar Week 4

This week features the hottest team in the NFL, the New England Patriots, who travel to Cincinnati to take on the Bengals and their pigeon problem (I voted Pittsburgh). And what better place to catch the game than TONY'S BAR on the mall. Food, giveaways (last week a radio controlled glider was given away at the end of the game), Jock of the Rock celebs, and the massive 67 inch TV. Maybe ESPN will show some of Brady's hot babe girlfriends on the big screen! Win a chance to sit in the VIP seat at the 1st quarter drawing or a JOTR t-shirt at the opening of the last frame. Game starts at 4:30pm, we'll see you there.

Nix Pix NFL Week Four

Week Four
Last Week: 2-1-0 (I‘ll take it)
Season: 4-3-2

Aside from my mind meld with Emma, Mike Pfeffeffefferer’s dog, the most popular Nix Pix radio segment from 2006 was on local political types. The difference this time is I’m going to make the words fit the picks instead of finding games to fit the words so I might actually win this time. I’m kicking myself for not pursuing a Jock of the Rock with Floyd and Van Mun as my guests and steal some of that Lisa Politico thunda.


Oakland @ Miami -4
Yes, I said Darth Vadar is Carolyn Floyd’s father and I’m sticking to it. Or was it Al Davis? Doesn’t the Dutchman look like Han Solo with the bandana around his neck? Anywho, Trent Green is getting less respect than either of the two running for mayor in 2007 and you can add me to the list. I think Smokin’ Joe could take snaps for the Fins and have more success this year. Speaking of no respect, Culpepper gets the nod finally for the silver and black as he faces his last team (I still consider the Vikings his old team). So do they know him or does he know them? Either way it figures to be close and that’s why I’m taking (but not proud of it)….

Nick’s Pick: RAIDERS

Houston -3 @ Atlanta
Another game with a player facing his old team, in this case its “Don’t Call Me Charles” Schaub. What does Berman call him? With Michael Vick gone it seems the Falcons may regret having let the now Houston QB go. Dirty Bird fans should have had Proposition 7 in place to prevent them from moving their highly touted back-up in case Vick did something less than ethical/legal/Vick. This game should be a dogfight but I have to go with the Texans over John Joseph Harrington the Oregon Assassin aka JH-3 aka Duckboy.

Nick’s Pick: TEXANS

MNF: New England -7 @ Cincinnati
When I think Jerome “Not The Bus” Selby I usually think about his big-eyed beautiful daughter Tyan who got married this summer. Now that she is off the market I suppose I can attach a new image to the Borough Mayor- The Patriots. Yes, because they are both unopposed. You always hear somebody say they aren’t happy with a certain elected official and Big J is no exception however who is the last person to run against him? Dennis Murray? So who would be Bengals in this match-up? I know Van Mun has been in jail before so he’d qualify. He told me so, really, at a party, I’m not kidding, serious. Perhaps D.A.V M. should have got on the other ballot. And Super Dave, if you are out there, way to not show up to The Round Table today letting down millions of your fans. If Tom Brady and gang falter will will be traced back to a fan in Kodiak, Alaska who failed to be there when it counted.

Nick’s Pick: PATRIOTS

JOTR for September 29th, 2007

The Round Table assembles once again this Saturday for a lively discussion on the national sports scene. With the Big Carrot hitting the scissor lift at Baranof Park for the KHS Bears game, Super Dave (a la Taxi Driver To The Stars) makes a return to the program. We're talking unbeaten Patriots, we're talking Okie State football coach rants, we're even talking U of Oregon cheerleaders. Tune in at the regular 12:30pm Saturday time slot even Batman would be jealous of and listen to four jokers break down sports like you've never heard before.

A New Sport?

The Seattle Times has this story on BICYCLE POLO. It looks like fun but I was surprised to see pictures of guys playing without helmets. I fearlessly predict this will disappear faster than roller hockey and my idea for milk jug curling at Baranof Park this winter.

College Football Week 4: Sooner Nation

I've always wondered what a Sooner is. Just like I've always wondered what a Cornhusker is (sounds vaguely gay, maybe Pfeffer can fill me in), but that's not the subject of this week's column. A Sooner, according to the almighty wiki, is...

The term Sooners was used to describe settlers who entered the Unassigned Lands, located in the current state of Oklahoma, before President Benjamin Harrison officially proclaimed them open to settlement with the Indian Appropriation Act of 1889 on March 2, 1889. The name derived from the "sooner clause" of the Indian Appropriation Act, which stated that no one should be allowed to enter and occupy the land prior to the opening time and that such people would be denied rights to illegally-claimed land.

Alrighty. So Sooners are people that not only steal Indian land, but do so before the gubmint says it's okay to do so. Now that we know basically who we're dealing with, let's take a look at the modern day Oklahoma Sooners. Are they for real? Well, they're averaging 61.5 points per game, while only giving up 11.75. Of course, they've played Tulsa, Utah, North Texas (which sounds a little like my personal version of hell), and Miami. Of the four, the 'Canes are the only team that'll likely go to a bowl game worth mentioning (Tulsa might go to one, but it'll be something like the Pizza Chris Kodiak Bowl @ the KANA Field and they'll probably play Oregon State). Still, the points for and points against averages are impressive, and I think Oklahoma probably is for real. Besides, there aren't any other teams that have had to face real competition either. We'll see when the Soooners play Texas in two weeks (will the ghost of Vinnie Young be in full effect?)... For now, though, I've said it the past two weeks and I'll say it again, Oklahoma is probably the best team in the nation (at this point anyway).

Other thoughts... Rumor has in that the ESPN Gameday Crew will be in Eugene next week for the Oregon-Cal showdown... Look at Dennis Erickson getting Arizona State into the top 25. Now it's a race to see what happens first: half his team gets arrested or Erickson takes off to coach the Atlanta Falcons... Two wins in a row for Michigan, who'd a thunk it?... No way Wisconsin should be ranked number 9, not after barely beating Iowa... Also, who has West Virginia beaten to deserve a number 5 ranking? No one (sorry Preacher Paul)...

-CK1

Nix Pix NFL Week Three

Week Three
Last Week: 0-2-1 (cricket sounds)
Season: 2-2-2

I try not to get this done so late in the week but...no but, no excuse, just didn't get to it until now. It hasn't been a good week for the international male supermodel: the Arizona game, car got hit-n-run, we only had one caller on the call-in show and I didn't win a game last week here on Nix Pix. Bloody hell! Just opened my Visa bill. Bloody hell w/interest! On top of that my house has lost power in half the rooms, just like Tyler Durden’s place on Paper Street. I’m thinking Pizza Chris and I should start a Fight Club and set up shop in the basement of The Villagio. The problem is we are more like Adam Sandler and Kevin James than Ed Norton and Brad Pitt. The Irish Assassin might be a better pick as he has violence issues and he’s younger so he heals faster. No, The Big Carrot is not Robert Paulson. His name was Jay Barrett. His name was Jay Barrett. His name was Jay Barrett. BTW, did you hear a JOTR brother cover the KHS game today? Move over John Madden. Hold that thought.

Dallas +3 @ Chicago
Say Jay did make a play to be the newest icon on pro night football or at least keep Clifford Kay at bay. He’d need a post game award gimmick like The Horse Trailer (John Elway must be tired of being hauled around the country in that thing). To be different he could go negative and give it out to the worst player of the game. For instance Tony Romo would have won a reverse MVP for his fumble vs. Seattle in the playoffs last year. Maybe a Golden Moose Turd, give it an Alaskan angle. The Dirty Sock of the Rock perhaps? How about The Flat Brewski, a warm beer in a glass that sat out overnight? The player winning this award has to drink it or be dragged through the streets of Philadelphia in Cowboys PJs. Rex Grossman could win the career prize, The Marla Singer Skunky Keg Award, for lifetime underachievement.

Nick’s Pick: COWBOYS


Detroit +5.5 @ Philadelphia
Speaking of Philly, who closed the window when I wasn’t looking? Ouch. And the Lions are trying to open it but of course everyone in Detroit has bars on their windows so it won’t be easy. But as Kelly Quinn and I discussed on the show today, the only person who could resurrect live into the MNF booth would be former Sixer Sir Charles himself (sorry my lord and savior, JB). I can hear him now commenting on Jon Kitna’s “miracle” recovery last week from a mild concussion as I’m sure he’d say God liked MJ more than himself or Mike Martz should run for governor of Michigan. Hummmmm, how ‘bout head coach at Michigan?

Nick’s Pick: LIONS


San Francisco @ Pittsburgh -9.5
While everyone is staring at New England (16.5 favs vs. Buffalo, yikes) I’ve got my eye on the Steelers as the team to beat in the AFC now. Yes, I predicted a Pats-Hawks date in the desert in February but Pittsburgh will be the team the Brady Bunch has to get by “to have the honor of losing to the“ Seahawks (stole that from Simmons and flipped it). I believe the Sports Guy was the one who said San Fran is the worst 2-0 team of all time and I concur. The 49ers might have Gore but there will be a major cooling tomorrow centralized in western Pennsylvania. That was a poor attempt at an Al Gore global warming joke. My bad. I must be ready for my nap.

Nick’s Pick: STEELERS

Odds based on lines from Yahoo Sports

Monday Night Football at Tony's Bar Week 3

Avoid the sweaty crowds at the other watering holes and join us at spacious Tony's Bar on the Mall for Monday Night Football on the BIG SCREEN. Giveaways every quarter, halftime, and post game plus cheap cheap food. Game starts at 4:30pm but show up at halftime if you work late, we'll still be having fun and watching the action.

This week the New Orleans Saints take on the Tennessee Titans. Could this be the game the Madden Curse takes hold and poor Vinnie Young gets snapped in half like a poodle in Mikey Vick's back yard? Can Reggie Bush start looking more like LDT and less like GW? Will Charles Barkley show up in the booth again? Will Nick Sandin break his hot dog eating record from last week? BE THERE BE THERE BE THERE!

JOTR for September 22nd, 2007

Nick Sandin and Casey Kelly man the phone lines for another call-in show. The fate of the Bonds 756 baseball will be one of the many topics. KHS football, A-Rod's haircut, faith healing by Jon Kitna, you name it, we can cover it. Tune in, call in, or leave your topic suggestions in the comments section below. Call in at 486-NEWS, that's 486-6397.

756* wants YOU!

Democracy is alive and well. Marc Ecko, rich clothing guy, turns out to be the one who bought Barry Bonds record setting dingerball. The kid who originally got it couldn't afford the taxes on it so he auctioned it off. Ecko bought is and set up a website HERE so we fans can decide the fate of this ball. Here are the choices.

A. Send it to Cooperstown
B. Send it to Cooperstown with tattoo that looks like this *
C. Shoot it into space

Yes. Space. Off the planet. That's the one I voted for but I hope they send it towards the sun instead of in orbit or Dr. Evil might get his hands on it and.....GIVE IT BACK!

College Football Week 3: No Luck For The Irish

This week we turn our attention to Notre Dame, who lost to Michigan 38-0. And my first question has to be... why was this game even allowed on TV? There should be a law against putting two 0-2 teams on national television, especially in college football where two losses means you're essentially out of contention for a national championship.

Still, I'm not one of these Notre Dame haters that's gonna bash 'em while they're down. Notre Dame football is polarizing, just like the Cowboys are polarizing to NFL fans, or the Lakers are to basketball fans, or the Yankees to baseball fans, or Nick Sandin is to females (you get my point). To a certain extent I can understand all the vitriol hurled at the Irish. They have a TV deal that no other college football program will ever hope to get, and all that hoity-toity Touchdown Jesus nonsense can get a little tiresome at times. On the other hand, I have to defend the Irish (and not because I'm CK1 the Irish Assassin), because they consistently play the toughest schedule in college football year in and year out. Name me another college team that plays Michigan and USC every year. Other Notre Dame rivalries are nothing sneeze at either (Penn State, Purdue, et al).

Despite the 0-3 start, the Irish can still win six games this year and go to a bowl game. Michigan State next weekend is a winnable game for them. They also have a chance against Purdue and UCLA this year, and should beat Navy, Air Force, Duke, and Stanford. They have a true freshman starting at QB, who will only get better as the season goes along. And just think how bad it would be if their coach wasn't an offensive genius. Besides, there's probably something in their TV contract that guarantees the Irish a spot in a BCS game.

Other thoughts... USC looked good against Nebraska, but they also have to play Oregon and Cal on the road and I'm predicting the Trojans will lose one of those games (unless Pete Carroll pulls a Belichick and starts stealing signals)... I'd have to say that Oklahoma still looks like the best team in the country... Florida is ranked a little high for my tastes, so is Wisconsin... If you didn't foresee UCLA stumbling like they did this week then it's amazing you're still breathing...

-CK1

Monday Night Football at Tony's Bar Week 2

Don't forget to join us down at Tony's Bar for Monday Night Football with fresh Snowblower Ale on tap, cheap food and Christmas-like prizes. This week the Eagles travel to the nation's capital to take on the 'Skins. Game starts at 4:30pm so drop by after work and catch the action.

Nix Pix NFL Week Two

Week Two
Last Week: 2-0-1 (Thanks a lot, D-Jackass)
Season: 2-0-1

I failed to explain ties on parlays. They push, so a three-game parlay card like I do here reverts to a two-game card and the payout is something like 2.6::uno. So since I nailed Seattle and Pittslithberger and tied the Cardinals score the $100 would now be $260. I’m rich, biatch! Not really.

So it is Friday night, cuddling a H.W. Blue Boar and a stroking the Sony Vaio keys with the other hand, hoping I can pump out three winners this week. My virgin picks (no spread) in the Mirror were 12-4 last week but a mosquito went 14-2. But everyone knows picking games straight up is for girls. Step back and witness a real man tear three off right here.

Minnesota @ Detroit -3
I’m not sure who has less listeners, Jock of the Rock or the Detroit Lions radio broadcasts. How old is Jon Boy Kitna now? He may have passed Favre somehow. The ex-Seahawk QB is nine wins away from proving his prediction for their season (not a joke). It seems after all these years Ford Field may have something to cheer about after putting up 30-plus on a formidable Raider defense last week. And I can’t name anyone on the Vikings anymore except for a certain left guard/traitor. I find I’m having trouble finding something offensive and/or perverted to say. What is wrong with me? Its like writers block crossed with E.D. or something. Maybe everything is backwards because I’m taking…..

Nick’s Pick: LIONS


Cincinnati -6.5 @ Cleveland
I could pick against Cleveland every single week. I should pick against Cleveland every single week. I believe last year I took Cincinnati over them in Week One…in July. In fact I will take Cincinnati over Cleveland, regardless of spread, for their first meeting in 2008. And I’m willing to say I’m the only person in Kodiak who can make that claim. The Steamers couldn’t beat Michigan. Why is that guy from 58 Degrees North throwing plastic Miller Lite bottles at my house?

Nick’s Pick: BENGALS


Philadelphia -6.5 @ Washington
Last minute switch, was going to take San Diego +3.5 on Sunday night but bought myself 24 hours and a break from John Madden. Can we get some Howard Cosell DNA and bring him back? Can Jessica Biel do the sideline reporting while we wishing? Did you see her in “Chuck and Larry”? I almost pulled a Paul Reubens in the Orpheum. NO, I DON’T KNOW WHERE MY PANTS ARE, LEAVE ME ALONE RUSTY, I’M ENJOYING THE MOVIE! Something like that.

This also means I’m taking three favorites which is a recipe for disaster. Sadly I can name more players on Minnesota than Washington. No, I lied (That’s what ya do in D.C.). Portis, Cooley, and uh, ummmm. One sec. That one guy. Mmmmmmmwhatzhisname. Springs. And Moss #2. Uh oh, I can name more Redskins than Eagles. But no worries, so long as I can name McNabb.

Nick’s Pick: EAGLES

Odds based on lines from Yahoo Sports

JOTR for September 15th, 2007

This week the Nuts of the Round Table (w/Four Corners) reunite after a couple weeks off. There is no telling what will be discussed in 29 minutes but I'm sure the NFL will be center stage with the Patriots using Bush's wiretapping methods on the Jets as a prime subject. If you have a topic you'd like covered please feel free to add it to the comments below, we might use it on the air.

Noooooooooooooooo!

Greg Oden will have knee surgery Thursday (read about it). This is all your fault, Sam Bowie...

UPDATE:Oden to miss entire 2007-2008 season.

Monday Night Football at Tony's Bar

Today kicks off a new partnership between the JOTR boys and our very good friends down at Tony's Bar downtown. Every Monday one or more of the Jock crew will be at Tony's helping out with the football festivities. There will be food, giveaways (including a Jock of the Rock T-Shirt once every week), and of course Liquid Sunshine. There is a season long raffle to win a killer leather recliner from The Treasury Home so be sure to sign up for that. And coming soon (drumroll)......MNF in HD on the bad mamacita 67" widescreen TV! Tony's will be the first to offer the game in Hi Def in Kodiak so keep an eye out for that.

Week One features the feared Baltimore defense up against Carson Palmer and all his teammates who are not currently in jail and/or suspended. Kickoff is at 3pm Alaska Standard Time but wait, there's more. At 615pm the Arizzzzzzzzzona Cardinals play the San Francisco 49ers in a key battle to determine who will take second behind Seattle this year.

That's Tony's Bar, The Official Bar of every team EXCEPT the Dallas Cowboys. OK, maybe them too but not if I get my way.

College Football Week Two

As the resident (and self-proclaimed) college football expert amongst the round table, I thought I would take this opportunity to post about that other football season that's going on right now.

Nicky the Bald Buttercup (yeah, my nicknames are better than his) is in the habit of picking the NFL winners every week before the games start. I'm nowhere near that brave. I'll just be providing analysis and a place to rant about the AP Top 25, and how the BCS should stand for Bull Crap Series. Besides, even the most astute observer of college football these days isn't dumb enough to play Amazing Kreskin week in and week out. In the parlance of our times, WTFIGOH? (what the f*ck is going on here?)

If you listen to the Jock of the Rock radio program (Saturdays at 12:30 on KMXT) then you know that I'm a huge fan of Oregon Ducks football, but even I wouldn't have picked Oregon to go into the Big House and wipe out Michigan 39-7 (read about it, here). Despite Michigan's throttling at the hands of Division I-AA Appalachian State last week, I was sure they would come out and at least try to destroy Oregon, wanting to prove to the rest of the nation that week one was a fluke. Before the game I was predicting a Michigan win (a big one at that), and I think most Duck fans would have agreed with me. Oregon also beat Michigan in 2003, in a close game at Autzen Stadium, which should have provided some additional motivation for the Wolverines seniors who were on that team. But no, Michigan came out flat, and Oregon rolled (with basically the same squad that got blown out by a bunch of Mormons from BYU in the Vegas Bowl last season, go figure...)

So what's going on here? Is Michigan that bad, or is Oregon that good? I think it's a little from column A and a little from column B. Michigan isn't a bad team. They still have more blue chip players than Oregon could ever hope to recruit. Their senior running back and quarterback (who both got injured during the game) are considered among the top players at their positions in the country. Oregon is good too, but like I said, they have basically the same team as last season when they fell apart and lost four straight to end the season. So what gives? I think coaching has a lot to do with it. Mike Bellotti is probably the third or fourth best coach in the Pac-10, but he's still better than Michigan's Lloyd Carr (who, mark my words, will be fired after this season if not sooner). Also, Oregon's new offensive coordinator Chip Kelly (no relation to yours truly) looks like he'll bring back the days of offensive mastermind Jeff Tedford (now coaching Cal), who was the Ducks' OC back in 2002 when they finished number two in the nation.

Other thoughts on college football... Oregon State got rolled by basketball powerhouse Cincinnati, 34-3... Oklahoma looks like the best team in the country right now after beating Miami, 51-13... Meanwhile, Mike Pfeffer's Nebraska Cornhuskers won a close one 20-17 over Wake Forest, now they host the men of Troy as USC heads to the plains for their first real test... Notre Dame looks lousy in week one, so they start a freshman quarterback week two and still look lousy against Penn State (how long before the Sandinista starts calling me Kelly Clausen on the air?). Fortunately for the Irish they play Michigan next week... Washington snaps Boise State's 14-game winning streak, and if the Huskies redshirt freshman QB can stay healthy, U-Dub looks like they have a good team this year.

-CK1

JOTR Guest for September 8th, 2007

This Saturday we air the prerecorded (Aug16th) interview with Alaskan Amanda Jordan who recently made the cut on to the Seattle Supersonics Dance Team. Jordan is from Eagle River, recently moved to the Emerald City for education reason and wound up trying out for the NBA dance squad. An internet voting competition on Fox Sports beamed her across the Pacific Northwest and into the limelight. Listen to the story of this intelligent and funny performer on Jock of the Rock this weekend.

Nix Pix NFL Week One

2004 Final Record 16-17-0
2005 Final Record 24-23-1
2006 Final Record 28-20-1

Welcome to Nix Pix, back in print after a year on the FM band! While it was fun mind melding with Mike Pfeffer’s dog and having fun with local political types on public radio it is so much easier just writing. I’m all about the lazy. From my humble beginnings at Main Elementary taking kids lunch money with a keen knack for the over/under (I’m making this up) to e-mailing my picks to my more successful friends who foolishly love their wives and children more than the NFL I’ve come a long way. And here we are in 2007 on a blog. OK, it’s a step back from radio. Dog spamit. Not you, Emma.

Anywho, last season was very lucrative as I ended up winning 71% of my games minus the three that pushed. As always I start the season with the “sandinyerface secret” to gambling. This system can make you money even when you lose more than half yer games over the course of a season. Really? Really. It goes like this:

There are 17 weeks in the season and every week I bet three games as a parlay.
Lose any of the three games and you get zip.
Win all three games and depending on where you bet you get between 6-7 times what you put down.
Bet $100, win all three, walk away with about $700.
Win 3 outta 3 three times in seventeen weeks of football that’s $2100.
Of course you lost 14 of 17 weeks so deduct $1400.
But in the end you are up $700 after seventeen weeks (like how I switch betweens words and #s?).
Of course you could win the first week and be at the same point but do the math if you win
4 outta 4 = $2800 minus 13 weeks lost/$1300 = $1500
5 outta 5 = $3500 minus 12 weeks lost/$1200 = $2300
You probably wouldn’t reach 6 outta 6 or higher. Trust me.
So it is possible you could win over two grand and only pick 15 games out of 51 correctly.
The key is patience. Bet the same every week. Always three games. Never more money. Never more games.

Of course I’m broke and never do this with real money and if I had money I’d be too cheap to test my system with real cheese.

Week One
Last Week: Your mama
Season: 0-0

Tampa Bay +6 @ Seattle
Week One is tough because it is in essence the fifth week of preseason. I don’t think you can find one starter on any team that played a full four Qs in the past four weeks. So I’m going with what is familiar and that would be (play Bitter Sweet Symphony) the SEAHAWKS! Seattle is playing a team that will fly across the continental US sideways with a QB that makes Jimmy Eggemeyer look like Shaq. Plus Seattle picked up a narc/player from the Bucs recently. But most importantly I shall be there in my south end zone seat screaming like a divorced 43-year old slut at a Bon Jovi concert. Ha! When I said slut you assumed I meant a woman you sexist pig.

OK, you were right.

Nick’s Pick: SEAHAWKS


Pittsburgh - 4.5 @ Cleveland
Cleveland picked up Jamal Lewis this season in an effort to stop him from having 200-yard games against them. They should have got him two years ago. Like MY Seahawks, the Steelers look like a team that will return to the form the showed when the were given a Super Bowl trophy by a bunch of f-tard zebras in Michigan on cold day in Februay 2006. Yes, still bitter. I’m like the lemon pepper you sprinkle on yer steak. For the record I do not dislike the Steelers or their loyal fans over this, my issue is with the league, blah blah blah. Anywho, all the plastic Coors Light projectiles in Ohio won’t stop Crotchrocket Cruncher and Co. Its going to be the worst things since…since….The Spurs came to town. HA!

Nick’s Pick: STEELERS


MNF: Arizona @ San Francisco -3
It is never a good idea to take three favorites in a week, a mistake I made early last year. So far I’ve taken two so I’m determined to find an underEmma that suits me. Last year everyone, including Regis Philbin, said the Cardinals were the big sleeper and would take the NFC West.

SEA! HAWKS! SEA! HAWKS! SEA! HAWKS!

This year the same types are calling on the 49ers to knock off Seattle at the left coast champs. Why did they go south on PHX? Alex Smith in preseason looked like my rear end after three days in a hotel in Mexico that was hit by a hurricane and lost power and water a few years back. Look for some trick plays from the Cards on prime time and yall owe me a brewski if they hit Boldin on a flea flicker for six. Of course I wish they both lose but the only tie in the house is around Nolan’s neck with his retro-RBK Cisco suit. What a dork!

Nick’s Pick: CARDINALS

Odds based on lines from Yahoo Sports