Nix Pix NFL Week Seventeen

Week Seventeen
Last Week: 0-3-0 (perfect!)
Season 19-23-3

2004 Final Record 16-17-0
2005 Final Record 24-23-1
2006 Final Record 28-20-1

I have failed you. For the first time ever the Sandin System did not produce and I feel a bit like Don Shula after watching the New England game tonight. Bloody hell. I thought about skipping the last week but I am a lover, not a quitter, so I humbly will give my final three predictions of the season. Oddly, picking games straight up has gone well but I take no pride in that. Real men bet with a point spread. My record picking Hannah Montana-style in recent years as follows:

2004 Wins 163
2005 Wins 171
2006 Wins 164
2007 Wins 163 (as of one second after Pats-Giants game)

There are 256 games in a regular season.

I have also done a poor job of updating this site and need to dig deeper in 2008 to keep it fresh. With football ending soon that may prove to be quite a challenge.

St. Louis @ Arizona -6
Why rent Dumb and Dumber when you can watch this game. I think Tory Holt had a worse year playing than I did picking. It is bad enough he’s named after a girl from 90210. At least he didn’t promise his team would win 10 games. And Arizona was who I thought they were.

Nick’s Pick: CARDINALS


Buffalo +8 @ Philadelphia

I will repeat this prediction that this will be McNabb’s last game in Philly although I think they should keep him. I said he’s going to Chicago but he might not look bad playing for the team they line up against this week. If he injured his chest would the play-by-play guy say he was out with a McRib? No, he wouldn’t.

Nick’s Pick: BILLS


Minnesota -3 @ Denver
I’m still waiting for Phillip Rivers to see my 19-23-3 record and call me names on national television.

Nick’s Pick: VIKINGS

Nix Pix NFL Week Sixteen

Week Sixteen
Last Week: 0-3-0 (perfect in reverse order!)
Season 19-20-3

I didn’t win a stinking game last week. Blame Jessica Simpson. It looks like tonight she struck down T.O. for his comments about her recently. Who will she destroy next? Maybe she’s carrying Marion Barber IV. Maybe she’ll release the photos of Wade Phillips in Daisy Dukes she has under her pillow. Maybe she will set Dennis Rodman up with Carrie Underwood. Anything could happen and that is why Willie Parker and I are not returning her phone calls anymore.

It is Christmas time on The Rock so I should give you some last minute gift tips. Just do not mistake the actual picks as gifts. In the overcommercialized tradition of the holiday I blatantly promote those who have supported Jock of the Rock in 2007 and make no apologies for it.

Cleveland -2.5 @ Cincinnati
I’m sure you remember me taking the Bengals in Week One in this match-up that I chalked up as one of my twenty losses this year. I swear these franchises traded their entire rosters to each other and that Derek Anderson is really Carson Palmer although I’m not sure why it is so hard for me to accept Cincinnati as being so bad. I didn’t have this problem for most of my life.

Anyway, my first gift pick is a hooded sweatshirt from Tony’s, home to JOTR Monday Night Football. If not, go with a tee but whatever you do, don’t be a poser/tourist/loser and get a Salty Dog hoodie from Homer. Get the real deal on the mall in Kodiak. I like the royal blue but black works too. Too bad they don’t have any in shades of…..

Nick’s Pick: BROWNS


Philadelphia @ New Orleans -3
The Saints ride their playoff hopes in this one minus both their star running backs but it hasn’t stopped them while McNabb plays his second-to-last game as an Eagle before going to Chicago to suck there.

Nothing says brotherly love more than a growler of Liquid Sunshine and where else can you get it fresh out the tank but from the Kodiak Island Brewery. Turn this Christmas into Fat Tuesday!

Nick’s Pick: SAINTS


MNF: Denver @ San Diego -8.5
The final Monday Night Football game of the season featuring LDT and Jay Cutler squaring off under the lights on the unfrozen turf of Qualcomm Stadium. I’m sure Denver isn’t too happy about losing the division and this should be closer than the Rockies-Padres one game playoff.

This is the last chance to get your name in the bowl to win the beautiful steel blue recliner from The Treasury Home to be drawn for Super Bowl Sunday in February. The Treasury Home also sells the official CK-1 beanbag chair, commonly known by the Nuts of the Round Table as The Wolfnest. It is almost as big as my head and doubles as a small bed. Lazier than a La-Z-Boy, get one today and Upgrade Upgrade from couch potato to Extreme Living Room Relaxer.

Nick’s Pick: BRONCOS

Nix Pix NFL Week Fifteen

Week Fifteen
Last Week: 2-1-0
Season 19-17-3

This is beginning to feel like homework and I get a B every week. I’m still recovering from getting hit by a tank that came in the form of a company Christmas party (which is why today's interviews were prerecorded) so I’m giving D effort as far as writing and giving one word reasons why I’m taking each team.

Buffalo +5.5 @ Cleveland
Snow.

Nick’s Pick: BILLS


Seattle -7.5 @ Carolina
Vinnie.

Nick’s Pick: S E A H A W K S !

MNF: Chicago @ Minnesota -10
Chicago.

Nick’s Pick: VIKINGS



Odds based on lines from Yahoo Sports

Monday Night Football at Tony's Bar Week 14

Time to get to Tony's to catch the game again. This week showcases the Atlanta Falcons and New Orleans Saints. Who am I kidding, I can't sell you on the game. It will take A LOT of Liquid Sunshine to brighten this match-up but there is still pizza for two bucks a slice and plenty of folks to make Chris Redman jokes with. NEWSFLASH....this just it to jockoftherock.com, Reggie Bush is dating Paris Hilton's homie Kim Karcrashinvan or whatever her name is. Maybe they will show her on TV and she'll sit on Ron Jawowski's lap in the booth. Game starts at 4:30pm. Be. There.

Nix Pix NFL Week Fourteen

Week Fourteen
Last Week: 1-2-0 (I‘m an idiot)
Season 17-16-3

Someone named Ishmael posted on the picks last week claiming he’s lost a grip on Nix Pix and that did so based on The System being “fail safe”. What can I say? Starbucks is $22 a share I hear, try that. I have four weeks to redeem my reputation as the greatest football prognosticator Main Elementary has ever produced in its long, storied history.


San Diego @ Tennessee EVEN
So far Vince Young hasn’t exactly had the greatest season yet he hasn’t been arrested (his pops did get out jail recently), shot, severely injured, or had his 16 year old daughter run away with a biker gang at a Borough Assembly meeting. My question; has he beaten the Madden Curse? Is it possible he paid Dennis Dixon phat stacks of green backs to take The Curse now since the Oregon QB will no doubt be a video game cover boy in 2011? By the way, the Ducks new uniforms can be seen on the front of HALO 3. I’m just baiting CK-1 now, this has little to do with LDT racking up 125 yards, two scores and a victory Sunday.

Nick’s Pick: CHARGERS


Pittsburgh @ New England -10.5
I guess if I take the Steelers in the Mirror and take them on the air today I’m pretty well committed to them when I get points on top of that. Of course I’d much rather see Miami break the streak than Pittsburgh. But then again I don’t want Shift-8 Shula (those are typing instructions, not a new offensive scheme) getting the satisfaction. I don’t really want to see the Jets and their Ugly Duckling do it or Kelly will talk about it until April and we all know Eli just flat out can’t do it. In fact I predict MiniManning will step in front of a transit bus in Week 16. Nick’s Pick: Transit Bus. So I must back the Steelers Sunday as the last hope for all that is good in the universe. Isn’t that ironic. Suck on that one for a while, Alanis.

Nick’s Pick: STEELERS


MNF: New Orleans -3 @ Atlanta
There is something wrong with my alarm clock. The snooze alarm button is flashing. Anywho, Reggie “Where Did All My Commercials Go” Bush is out with a knee injury. Maybe Young actually gave it to him for that Pepsi machine that does training camp but fails to make the roster. I’m not sure what you would do with a Pepsi machine like that but I know what one former Falcon would do. HAVE IT FIGHT OTHER VENDING MACHINES! Can I say former Falcon? Maybe he hasn’t been cut.

Nick’s Pick: SAINTS

Guest for December 8th, 2007

This Saturday Kodiak High School head varsity basketball coach Ron Bryant joins the international male supermodel for 30 minutes on the air. There might even be a player or two joining him for the conversation. The Clarkston reveiled this will be Bryant's fith and final year as head coach of the storied program so you won't want to miss this one. Sandin will very likely tell a story about playing on the single worst Bears team of all time (1988-89 KHS, not 2007 Chicago)as well. Tune in at 12:30pm. IT IS MORE THAN A GAME!!!!

Nix Pix NFL Week Thirteen

Week Thirteen
Last Week: 2-1-0 (still not good enough)
Season 16-14-3

My system is on the brink of failure for the first time ever. After twelve weeks I’ve only won twice and one of those was two and a push. Let us pray. Oh football gods, please shine yer light upon me this often jinxed Week 13 and thank you for allowing Dallas to win so we wouldn’t have to see Clifford Kay in drag. The Hawaiian shirts are painful enough. Bless Nix Pix with three wins and a Seahawks victory at The Linc this Sunday. Amen.


New York (N) @ Chicago +1.5
Last night I went out to kick it with my friends at Tony’s BUT I DIDN’T KICK IT TO HESTER. We already know Rex sucks but what happened to Eli? I read a headline that said he’s not very manning-like but his pops was the Saints QB for years and they never did diddley squat. So I would say Peyton is unManning-like, he actually wins. And does every commercial. At the same time. Amazing.

Nick’s Pick: BEARS


Cleveland @ Arizona -1.5
The two teams Seattle should have beat now meet and I’m going with the Cardinals only because they are at home. You know why Kurt Warner doesn’t use Just For Men? It’s for men.

Nick’s Pick: CARDINALS


MNF: New England -20 @ Baltimore
SuperDave, Cab Driver To The Stars, and I almost bet on the last Pats game and he gave me 24 points, even early in the week when the spread was only at 19. I chickened out and didn’t pull the trigger on that deal so I could have won a free cab ride. I don’t believe the Ravens will fair as well as the Eagles did and will just walk home from now on.

Nick’s Pick: PATRIOTS